@Prof_Hinkley: I just accidentally said "I love you" when hanging up with the auto shop guy, so I'm just going to leave my car there and buy a new one
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@azizpabani: ESPN just did a Top 5 Greatest Comebacks of All Time and there was some guy running with a ball but like literally no mention of Jesus
@OctopusCaveman: [2 men standing in an empty basement together] Man 1: “Alright, maybe we should tell a few people about Fight Club.”
@Sophie2078: We had a pleasant conversation about how we hate talking to people and then he said that this is a good reason for us to... Me: ... fall in love? Him: ... stop talking to each other.
@IamEnidColeslaw: today I went for a run & a homeless guy was like WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING FROM & I was like EVERYTHING