@CelebrityChez: I just apologized to my wife for something she did wrong. Marriage is fun.
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@SteveSuckington: [on a date] I've got butterflies in my stomach "that's so cute. You dont have to be nervous" [flashback to me eating some butterflies] ok
@Sam_From_Kansas: Alan from Facebook is concerned about "boarder" control and thinks they should "learn our langage"
@SemFitty: *wear sunscreen* *go up to a guy named Ray and punch him in the nose* *now laugh because sunscreen protects you from ultra violent Rays*
@DrCephalopod: *moisturizes hands* *dies of starvation in the bathroom because I can no longer turn the doorknob*