@Black__Elvis: I just blew off some steam and it wouldn't even kiss me afterward.
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@ScorpionDong: Hangs a sign on front door that says "Robbery in progress - Please do not disturb" to deter burglars
@Gooooats: People who criticize the year 2016 seem to have forgotten that back in May McDonald's accidentally gave me a Chicken McNugget with my fries.
@Mostly_Cheese: I need a personal trainer to be in charge of how I exercise because I'm in charge of how I eat and look how that turned out.
@LoveNLunchmeat: I've been Catholic for years and still have no idea which murders I should confess and which I should keep to myself.