@Alex_N_Chains

I just felt a weird twitching somewhere inside me. I think it might be my liver waving a white flag.

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@cr0issantitties

Men don’t even appreciate a good bra & panty set. “TAkE tHeSe OfF” did you even look at it 🥺😒

@cravin4

My wife does this cute thing now & then where she goes out shopping for next years yard sale items.

@SteveSuckington

Her: “Add insult to injury why don’t you”

Me: “Your broken leg looks fat in that cast”

@Ian_H5

JOB INTERVIEWER: so, what was your last job?

DR. FRANKENSTEIN: bodybuilding

@AdamTheLobster

I always see homeless people walking around with cups of change. I bet they could afford a house if they werent drinking money all the time.

@bengulate

My signature move is falling in love with a beautiful girl, then giving her really good advice on how to date someone else.

@chudneyspears

One of the Covid symptoms is loss of taste so how do La Croix drinkers even know?

@WilliamAder

My book group read “Ventriloquism for Dummies” this month. We met in the living room, but it sounded like we were in the kitchen.

@RodLacroix

My wife and I agreed never to go to bed angry with each other which is why we’ve both been awake since January 14, 2013.