@GaryJanetti: I just found out five people I went to high school with are dead. What's taking the rest of them so long?
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@funnyordie: Want to make a nerd's head explode? Go to any site that posted the new Star Wars trailer & write "Where's Captain Kirk?" in the comments.
@roadsidephil: Saw a "Toby Keith's I Love This Bar" that went out of business. Apparently he was the only one.
@fro_vo: God: where's your horn Unicorn: i sold it for drugs God: throw this fucken horse in jail --the invention of zebras