@Awk0Tacoo: I just found out that there's a dating site for people with mullets and the people who love them. Lol! *looks over shoulder* *signs up*
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@brittwastaken: *walks seductively up to table* *licks lips* Me: Come on baby. Just one more time. Him: Lady, I'm not giving you any more cheese samples.
@daemonic3: Parents, talk to your kids about drugs. Teach them organic chemistry. Obtain a research grant. Put big pharma out of business together
@murrman5: [family hears me pull in driveway] wife: please don't wrestling announcer: sorry ma'am he already paid me. NOW ENTERING THE HOUSE FROM WORK
@BradNewsBears: Cashier: Hello Me: Is it me your looking for... I can see it in your eyes.. Cashier:... Me: Sorry, this is my first rap battle.