@CopBroughtPizza: i just found that children's tylenol is made for children, not out of children, and i feel relieved. but that could just be the tylenol...
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@jwoodham: "You have a date? With who?" [Sees a fishing boat] "Uh, her name is Net..." [Sees someone with a booger] "Flicks! Net Flicks! Wait. Dammit."
@kwirkyKerri: Looking to marry a pharmacist. Looks and personality optional. Just don't lose your job.
@USMCSDI: BREAKING NEWS: Nigerian man dies and authorities find $27 billion dollars in his apartment He had been trying to give it away for 15 years but nobody would return his emails
@glenyrd: I'm so glad we could finally reconnect after all these years because I'd really like your help on my virtual farm.