@okimstillhungry

I just got catcalled by a construction worker. He said “hey hEY HEY THAT CEMENT ISNT DRY YET” I’m tired of being harassed like this.

You Might Also Like

@BradBroaddus

My aunt’s ex-boyfriend’s mailman’s brother said it on Facebook so I don’t think any further research is necessary.

@BlindChow

Columbus: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: Well–
Columbus: *just yanks me out of my car and drives off in it*

@GrantTanaka

[dog park]
Dog: omg I just found out I’m adopted
Other Dogs: [barking in shock]

@KenJennings

Bad news, the police just seized our German holiday bread. They said it was stollen. Folks, they said it was stollen.

@JimmerThatisAll

This day in history. 1888. Police received the “From Hell” letter from Jack the Ripper threatening further monstrous attacks on the English language.

@primawesome

My mom was the best mom. I hope your mom spends today thinking about what she could’ve done to get on my mom’s level.

@sarahwcurtis

Yes, I did a photo shoot with my thesis. Longest labor ever. #phdlife

@PleaseBeGneiss

Me: one mcflurry please

Cashier: the machine is down

Me: awe then one for the machine too