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@tastefactory: I just got ripped to shreds by an extremely old man. I got on the elevator from the basement of my building and he got on too. I said “going up?” And he said “certainly. Can’t go down from here” old man I was trying to be polite why you gotta clown me like that
@DannyZuker: "I did not expect to encounter so many snakes when I booked this flight!" #AwfulFirstDraftDialogue
@Book_Krazy: *Blows dandelion in the wind* *stares at stem* [whispers] "Now you're just somebody that I used to blow"
@Ygrene: Dad: (tears in eyes) you're going to make a fine dad someday Son: (tears in eyes) should I make him out of wood or metal Dad: (just bawling)
@lionprincessval: I can't come into work today *cough* I'm really sick. "Do I hear Mario Kart in the background?" *hangs up*
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