@_SetTheHook_
Remember, ladies, when you’re taking those selfies, the camera adds like 10 cats.
@AlishaRai
I just remembered the time I was dating a British man and I was annoyed at him about something so I deliberately made my tea in the microwave while staring him right in the eyes
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@_SetTheHook_
@JediGigi
Boss: I need you to come into work at 7 instead of 9 tomorrow.
Me: Can’t.
Boss: Why?
Me: I’ll be asleep until 8:30.
@brynnester
Me: Where there’s a will there’s a way
Will: That’s true
Way: Very true
@egg_dog
facte: you eat 28 spiders in your lifetime. always 28. if you are about to die and you have only eaten 3 then 25 spiders arrive at once
@Bnowaygirl
I think Titanic is fake because, how do they record it when they are all dieing in the water?
@OrdinaryAlso
Frenchmen, still hiding inside The Statue of Liberty: soon.
@caliluvgirl77
[interrupts Pink Floyd]
“Actually, it’s AN education”
@Ilovelamp1979
This could be the LSD talking, but I’m pretty sure I’d be more comfortable riding on the roof of the car.
@DannyZuker
My kids are always accusing me of having a “favorite child” which is ridiculous because I don’t really like any of them.