You’re damn right I want to complete an online survey, hand that receipt right here.
I just saw a video of a snake that learned to open doors. I probably don’t need to sleep anymore anyway.
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No. Still the wrong hole.
Only ONE in each hole!
Ugh. Here! I’ll show you.
-Helping my kid put on a swimsuit.
Do not disturb.
ME: i joined CrossFit
PRIEST: again, kind of weird but not a sin
40 pizzas in 30 days doesn’t sound so crazy anymore does it
My wife and I have an agreement with our 7 year old daughter
Don’t wake us up early on the weekend and we won’t abandon you in a mall
My wife went on a lot of roller coasters when she was pregnant with our daughter Katelyn, and you can tell 🙁
The “Slow Children Playing” signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?
*starts watching Top Gun*
*seriously hopes Goose doesn’t die this time*
i get all my pet peeves from a peeve rescue