@MomofTeen: I just saw The Big Sick and now I'm negotiating with my doctor to place me in a medically induced coma and then speed dial my true love.
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@AbbyHasIssues: *Showing me a picture of your baby* Me: Is that a dog toy in the background? What kind of dog do you have? What's your dog's name?
@KateWhineHall: [Listening to Hungry Like the Wolf] 10yo: When did this come out? Me: Hmm...'82? 10: 19 or 18? Me:...
@IvoryGazelle: Him: I've never had any broken bones Me: *remembers his profile said he loves trying new things* Noted
@Brianhopecomedy: I told my 5 year old that he was allowed to choose 1 item from the grocery store so we're walking home with a cart.
@dave_cactus: MUGGER: *pulls out a knife* ME: *pulls out a jar of marmalade and two biscuits* MUGGER: Lovely.
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