@LanieLalaBugs: I just want a man who'll drag me to the bedroom, throw me on the bed & do dirty dishes while I take a nap. Is that too much to ask for?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BrettDruck: I don't like when they use "late" to describe a deceased person. It's like give a guy a break on his attendance, he's dead.
@juicymorsel: Pretending you're dead to avoid conversation in the hospital is the worst way to learn how a defibrillator works.
@PaperWash: Things more likely to kill you than Ebola: - choking on a wheat thin - erotic asphyxiation - falling off the toilet - a duck with a gun
@CornOnTheGoblin: magician: who wants to volunteer to get sawed in half [raises my hand] magician: and then... put back together [lowers my hand]