You Might Also Like

@barryjohnharper

I wonder if Batman ever saw the Batsignal and thought ‘I’ve literally just sat down.”

@envydatropic

40ish year old me thinks 18ish year old me should’ve planned something better with her life.

@iscoff

It’s fun to chant “Bloody Mary” three times into your car’s side mirror while driving at night and watch her jog to keep up

@ericsshadow

In the 1970s it was almost impossible to insult someone electronically. Thank god that nightmare is over.

@AmnesiaRose

I wish I had the confidence to
just randomly sit on people and start bathing myself like my cat does.

@TheBoydP

If candy bars can be called cereal bars to make them sound healthy then why can’t alcohol be called cereal drink?

@Robert_Beau

Remember kids, if you’re driving in the snow and start skidding, turn into the direction of the cheapest car.

@TravLeBlanc

I predict that Obama’s next move is to threaten to hold his breath until Russia leaves the Crimea.

@ShutUpThatsWho

[brings Kevin Bacon to a knife fight]

[Kevin Bacon gets foot stuck in a drain]

[Kevin Bacon’s about to drown]

[Everybody cuts foot loose]