@dulcetry: I just want to be rich enough where I snap my fingers and 7 people fight over who gets to make me my next grilled cheese.
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@TheAlexNevil: 4 said he went potty and I asked if it was number one or number two. He said number 7, and now I'm terrified to go into the bathroom.
@farahfergie: The Cheesecake Factory had a "Help Wanted" sign. I was really disappointed that it wasn't to help eat the cheesecake. #FluffyChickProblems
@fanofhell: [sees people filming a movie] yeah real original. a movie. like that's never been done before
@iCumBl00d: Why do they hand out Kleenex at funerals if you're not supposed to jerk off in the back row