@HockeyTornado: I keep a second pair of shoes at work, I don't want people to recognize me when I'm pooping.
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@edgarrants: My wife said if she heard me chewing one more time, she was going to murder me. So I stole the batteries from her hearing aids.
@AnniemuMary: Husband out of the room for a minute asked me about something I saw on the news but I didn’t know the answer bc I was listening but I wasn’t like science listening.