*puts on white shirt*
*accidentally spills coffee*
*takes off shirt*
*shoves shirt into coffee pot*
*puts on brown shirt*
I know how to make her bite her lip, arch her back and curl her toes
Legos on the floor by her side of the bed
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Optimus Prime: “I transform from a robot into a truck. You?”
Amazon Prime: “I transform money into regrettable internet purchases at 2 AM.”
*goes on Facebook AGAIN*
*reads 100,000th idiotic post*
*thinks other people are stupid*
When a dish comes out of the dishwasher still dirty, I just put it back in for another round, because I believe in second chances.
Had I been Jesus, being invited to “The Last Supper” would’ve raised a few red flags.
I was having a perfectly lovely Wednesday until someone told me it’s Monday.
“You go girl!! Your dance moves are on point! Why not get up on stage for some karaoke too! You’re an amazing singer!”
Walking dead spoiler alert. There are zombies and they like to try & eat people but the people are like “nuh uh zombie, we don’t want that”
[Buzzfeed for Cats]
6 THINGS THAT WILL MAKE U BOLT FROM THE ROOM
-Nothing. Nothing at all
*dramatically gets out of bean bag chair for 20 minutes*