@UncleDuke1969: I know it might seem cruel, but unless you’ve lived through the horror of a sheep infestation, you couldn’t possibly understand.
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@tigersgoroooar: If you want a Christmas card from me, message me your address and pray I die and get reincarnated as someone who gives a shit what you want.
@TweetingDadGuy: Live tweeting from Sunday Mass! We're sitting. Now standing. Sitting. Sorry, should've been kneeling. Shit, that was embarrassing.
@pleatedjeans: Kids are so dumb u think Santa's elves made that PS4 yeah right like Sony would ever let that happen learn basic copyright law u lil shits
@mytoecold: I wake up every morning with a ball of frozen cookie dough in my mouth. I love it. I’m not even sure who puts it there. The only person who it could be is my roommate Darren (who does buy cookie dough often, but I can’t see it being him)