@Msummerslowe: I laughed at this way too hard.
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@SkinnerSteven: I like my women like I like my coffee, passed through the digestive system of a cat
@PondBubbles: Employer: i am sorry. we will not be hiring you. Me: i understand completely. you won't be disappointed.
@EndhooS: [Interview] "Do you have any previous experience dealing with animals?" [flashback to my flatmate leaving toast crumbs in the butter] ..Yes.