@Msummerslowe: I laughed at this way too hard.
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@anerdonfire2: Imagine my dismay when I found out she wasn't joking about owning a lie detector machine
@DamienFahey: The government says 50 terror plots have been thwarted since NSA surveillance. What a perfectly even, unsuspicious number.
@Lowenaffchen: Glue a tiny mirror over your driver's license photo so when you hand it to the cops they get confused and start arresting themselves instead