@Book_Krazy
[Spelling bee]
Your word is Monogamous.
M-O-N-O-T-O-N-O-U-S
*2 Judges stare at each other*
1st judge *nods*
2nd judge: “We’ll allow it”
@carlyken
I leave my vacuum in the middle of the floor at all times so when I have unexpected company I can say I was just about to clean my house.
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@Book_Krazy
@SketchesbyBoze
old ladies always walking past you like “you are glued to your phone, can’t even look up to see the beauty around you” Pam this is a Dollar Store not Notre Dame
@animaldrumss
son, you don’t need to close your eyes, it’s just a movie. the killer from the movie can still get you even if you’re not watching it
@skickwriter
Offering $50 and a case of beer to anyone who can take out my alarm clock and make it look like an accident.
@Fred_Delicious
“If you could be anyone, living or dead, who…”
Me – “dead”
@canadasandra
what idiot named them “in-flight movies” instead of “Jetflix”
@abuya_henry
8:00 am – Packs Lunch
9:00 am – Arrives at work
9:04 am – Eats Lunch
@iGreenMonk
There are two types of people in this world:
1)People who tried to move an object with their mind at least once
2)Liars
@Ristolable
“Is there really a fire? Prove it.” -Mrs. Doubtfire
@bornmiserable
[me, watching Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds] oh, there they are