We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@GensPlace: I lie in the bath for hours.
But I try to tell the truth the rest of the time.
@daddydoubts: Me: how was school?
Son: I cried today.
Me: oh that’s okay everyone cries.
Son: and I peed on my teacher.
Me: oh that’s okay buddy, I pee on people all the time.
@just1fool: Never pay attention to how often you're blinking.
@AmericanGent69: Friend: I'm so sore from the class I took at the gym
Me: I spent 10 minutes trying to pick up a cube of ice off my floor, I know the feeling
@PimpleEye: You know what I love about people who buy followers?
I can laugh at their expense.
@philandher96: "It helps knowing that everyone else will die with me if we crash."
~my 11yo on why she's not afraid to fly unaccompanied