You breed dogs? Don’t they do that on their own?
I like dating chicks with kids, because snacks
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You know the meeting has gone completely downhill when someone suggests sacrificing a chicken.
Girls need strong female role models may I suggest Godzilla she is a strong, confident woman that fights for justice and also breathes fire
if i were a cab driver, i’d scream “ROAD TRIP” every time i got a passenger
Hey whatcha eating?
Wtf is a pluot?
“A cross between a plum & an apricot”
That’s really stupid.
*rides off on a liger*
“Boss, I’ve got a probl-”
“There are no such things as problems, only opportunities”
“Oh, ok. I’ve got a serious drinking opportunity”
This stray cat on my balcony is looking at me like I’m invading its privacy.
“Neighbor”- person next door
“Neigh! Brrrr!!” – cold horse 🙁
I call all dogs ‘puppies’, regardless of age. They like it.