My youngest once got ahold of the scissors and gave herself a haircut. It wasn’t bad. So now every 6 weeks we casually leave them out.
I like listening to Phil Collins in the shower. He gets creeped out when he sees me, though.
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………GO TO HELL!!
Just saw a bird walking down the side of the road & yelled out my window, “YOU CAN FLY, YOU STUPID BIRD,” because I am a mature adult.
I would totally support the development of a 14-year after pill.
God (inventing humans): hey someone throw a rock at the lizards i have a worse idea
If anyone ever saw me trying to zip up my jacket I’m pretty sure they’d make me repeat third grade.
The worst part of seeing a spider in the shower was the way it covered it’s eyes when it saw me.
This puppy is lit but those puppies are litter
How about a superhero whose power is TAKING CARE OF HIS KIDS *high-fives Maury audience while Batman storms off*
i feel like so much miscommunication could be avoided if we all just stopped talking