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@ElCorf: "I like my women how I like my sunglasses...
Sitting on my face..."
@MomOnFire: Granny, pay attention and don't panic. I need you to think hard and tell me how many brownies you ate out of the blue pan.
@RoosterMustache: "Wow this pizza is amazing"
Yes, well it's our specialty dough.
We soak it in pickle juice.
Dill pickle juice actually.
It's a dilldough
@Dirty_Naomi: I love slip on shoes because you can slip them off just as easy to hit stupid people with them.
@cravin4: Can't, I'm about to turn 50 and my lower back is almost 83.
@iAmDelFreaky: 2: Where mommy?
Me: Mommy's at a meeting.
2: Mommy is meat?
Me: No. Well...yes, but only if we ever get stranded on an island.