@LowIifee: I like staying in because soon as I step outside I spend $100
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@murrman5: [neighbour sees me walking to horse barn with a shotgun] did it break its leg? [me pretty sure the horse saw me practicing moonwalking] yeah
@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1950. The FBI put out its first 10 Most Wanted list and my dad lost a bet because only 2 of the guys were his brothers.
@OakHill_: Her: Where have you been? Me: I went to see a shrink. Her: Are you having emotional problems? Me: No... I just want to be smaller.