@SummerCandyEyes

I like to make things awkward on first dates just by shouting “wrong hole!!” at inappropriate times, like when you’re eating.

I like to make things awkward on first dates just by shouting “wrong hole!!” at inappropriate times, like when you’re eating.

- @SummerCandyEyes

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Me, a realtor: Absolutely

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@FrazzleMyGimp

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ME: [puts tiny strip of tape on the hostages mouth]

BOSS: Are you stupid? Put more on.

ME: Oh I’m sorry I forgot tape doesn’t cost money.

@johnofah

Pluto wasn’t even a planet for a full year on Pluto. Do you ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself.

@RightOJack

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