“Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?” -a very curious play goer.
I like to reassure my wife that even though I don’t have huge muscles she is always safe with me cause I’m a really loud screamer.
You Might Also Like
*writes employment history on arm
*writes professional references on thigh
*writes email address on neck
*adds “resume” to resume
ghosts just aren’t spooking rich people into charity like they used to
He MAILED it
Don’t key “You’re so cool” into the side of a police car while cop is still in the car.
Don’t ask me how I know this.
*goes to Walgreens for memory pill supplements*
*forgets what they’re called*
“I don’t understand why people try to act drunk. I spend most of my time trying to act sober.” – Florida State
People: cheer up, things could be worse
Anxiety: and here are some detailed scenarios how
A survey shows that 20% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house and 80% kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife..
Hey nice try, people named Tristan. Or I should say Stan Stan Stan.