This is a bargain. I’ve always paid at least $5.
I like to switch browsers as often as possible. They all prompt to make them the default browser. It feels nice to be fought over.
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Who called baby elephants calves and not inphants
Falling asleep at work didn’t get me in trouble. Falling asleep at work and snoring got me in trouble.
The postman told me he’s off to Spain tomorrow so I asked was he going to Parcelona and he ignored what I believe to be my best joke of 2014
I need some sugar. Not the stupid kind that gives you mono, but the good kind that gives you diabetes.
The idea is to just keep scrolling on your phone until you die.
I am AWFUL at picking up if a woman is into me.
Even if one said, “I want to do you.” I’d respond, “What do you mean? Like an impression?”
How many beers does it take to get a tropical bird drunk?
At my age I’m allowed to start my day with Captain Morgan and end my day with Captain Crunch.
“Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road, please?” Oh. Yea. Good thinkin’. Can’t be too careful. A lot of bad drivers out there.