@bluebonetbabies: I live in constant fear that my kids will grasp the concept of time at any moment. And all my parenting lies will be found out.
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@brianbowman73: I heard you like bad boys? *jumps in pool after eating without waiting an hour* Sup.
@notfaizzy: I used to think chiropractors were useless till I had back problems... Now, I stand corrected.
@weinerdog4life: When I tell my wife I'm gonna have to work late she knows it's code for I was playing with super glue and I'm stuck to my desk again.