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@PRIDEofLOWELL: "I lost my Khakis"
- a guy from Boston who lost his car keys.
@SondraDeeMe: ME: What's this about?
SECRET SERVICE: We can't tell you
ME: I can take it
SS: *whispers* Your parents didn't take your dog to a farm
@panmidwest: GF: just FYI, my dad teaches at the Naval Academy
[meeting her parents]
ME: [lifting up shirt] does my belly button look weird to you?
@fishbowel: Interviewer: what did you bring to the table
Me: in my last job I brought a lot of enthusia-
Interviewer: no what did you just put on my desk
Me: u mean my toad
@BruceForce: I was called a village idiot today which really upset me. I live in a city.
@AnkCoupleTO: Just saw Samuel L. Jackson order a couple of bagels. He paid for them and said thank you so basically now my whole life is ruined