@1followernodad: I love babies cause they just cry upon waking up and it's so honest
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@ofcourseyoudid: Bird of peace? The dove Bird of war? The hawk Bird of true love? ..wait for it... .... The swallow *walks offstage
@garrydavenport: "Nwbdy tellsh mwe wht to dwo", I say through a mouthful of cardboard, giving a middle finger to "remove pizza from box before consumption".
@ItsAndyRyan: First date Her: Wow this place is posh Me: *clicks fingers* Garçon, we'd like to order food Waiter: Entrées? Me: No, on plates, you fool