Me: *nervous giggle* Goodbyes are so awkward. Like do I go in for a kiss or what?
Drive-thru attendant: Please just take your food, sir.
I love how binge watching a tv show is now portrayed as a fun activity instead of an expression of deep emotional turmoil and depression
You Might Also Like
lol google now has a feature that says the the ad knew too much.
Overheard on the bus:
“Stop eavesdropping on our conversation, it’s creepy and you won’t get any funny tweets out of it”
I’m bringing sexy backward.
*drops an avocado in the offering basket at church*
3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep. The other wants to know if penguins have knees.
You look like you would fail a DNA test
Hubs and I have fought so much lately I’ve lost 10 lbs. I thought about leaving him, but I’d like to lose another 10 lbs first.
interview tip #86
be honest when asked about yourself
interviewer: so tell me about yourself
me: not without my lawyer present
I’d catch a gently thrown tennis ball for you.