@drewtoothpaste: I love it when websites pop up a box to make me subscribe to read, and I always enter my real email address because it's important.
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@Gooooats: I think this coworker I’ve been working with for 13 years is starting to suspect I don’t know his name.
@ddsmidt: Tried to pull up my sleeve and accidentally punched myself. It's okay, I've had it coming for some time now.
@EmberToAsh: Met a cute guy named Jack. I grabbed his hand and dramatically said, “I’ll never let go, Jack!” He quickly left. It’s okay though. My heart will go on.
@VeryLonelyLuke: Being a Jedi isn't all bad. I've been sitting around in my bathrobe for decades.