@meganamram: I love therapy sessions because I get to cry for an hour. It usually freaks out my patient, though
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@Book_Krazy: Boss: It's almost quitting time. Drinks? Me: In my top desk drawer. Help yourself. Boss:...
@ArielSElias: Romantic comedies gave me unrealistic expectations about finding work at a magazine.
@SirEviscerate: *uses blood from wounds to write my killer's name on the floor* I...will be...avenged. NO! BAD DOG! DON'T LICK THAT! DADDY NEEDS JUSTICE!