@meganamram: I love therapy sessions because I get to cry for an hour. It usually freaks out my patient, though
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@ThisOneSayz: *coworker stares at me as I unpack lunch* Me: leave CW: why? Me: I'm never bringing a banana to work again, okay Todd!?!?
@kelkulus: I can't tell if Michael Cera is actually an actor, or just an awkward guy who keeps wandering onto film sets and does his best to fit in.
@captainkalvis: [in bed] me: can i share something without being judged date: um ok sure what is it me: i... i have a foot fetish date: oh that's not that weird i- me: *placing her exactly 12 inches from me* ohhhh yeah that's the stuff