@The_Sculptress: I love you guys with all my ass. I would say heart, but my ass is bigger.
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@jwoodham: Don't text and drive. Just pull over until you're done using your phone. That's what I do. I've been on the side of the road since 2011.
@Xoolun: These Jehovah's Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant.
@Holy_Mowgli: ME: excuse me did you say this was non-GMO WAITER: yes that's right ME: [pointing to my alphabet soup] there's like a dozen of them in there