@jamieleefinch

“I made myself feel better about my husband being a giant, irresponsible, adult child by imagining what it would be like if he were dead” is a weird flex but ok.

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@simoncholland

Took our kids to a restaurant again because we never learn our lesson.

@UncleDuke1969

? 12 drummers drumming
? 11 pipers piping
? 10 lords a leaping
? 9 ladies dancing
? 8 maids a milking
? 7 swans a swimming
? 6 geese a laying
?

@zachreinert03

People think having 5 sets of grandparents rules as kid on Xmas, and it does, but you pay for it on the back end having to go to 97 funerals

@greg_vee

I’ve been ignoring these dirty dishes for 47 minutes and they still haven’t taken the hint. It’s just awkward now…

@tsm560

I feel like I’m always on the outside looking in… and great the cops are here again.

@McKnightyBoo

My 6yo has been rolling around on the floor for 30 mins whining for me to get her some juice cause SHE doesn’t want to

Go ahead. Have kids