@isabelzawtun: I made this sign for a broken stepladder at work & honestly I think I need to make one for myself too
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@causticbob: Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security? Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.
@SteveSuckington: [bleeding out] ER Doctor: do you know your blood type? ME: I've never really thought about it TBH. As long as it has a good personality
@Skoogeth: cop: can you step out of the car, sir? me: [remaining in my seat] yes i CAN step out of the car ;D cop: me: cop: um may you step out of the car, sir? me: actually i might be on a teensy bit of opium so let's revisit that first question
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: Often when swimming I still cross ankles and try to mermaid kick. Then I swim up to a random guy and sing to him until he calls security.