@isabelzawtun

I made this sign for a broken stepladder at work & honestly I think I need to make one for myself too

You Might Also Like

@Sanbel11

My superpower is turning “never again” to “ok, one more time”

@Jake_Vig

I wish people would move over a bit in their selfies. We’re redecorating a bathroom and looking for ideas.

@ojedge

[Blackstreet Bakery]

Me: [watching the baker kneading dough] “I love the way you work it”

Baker: “No diggity?”

Me: “Baguette up.”

@UncleDuke1969

Me: Leonard Nimoy died today.
Co-worker: From Star Wars?

*goes home*

Wife: How was your day?
Me: Leonard Nimoy and a co-worker died today.

@FredTaming

[ interview at a 24 hour diner ]

boss: can you cook nights

a dragon: yes

@VerbsRProudest

Taking a nap now. If you’re tempted to wake me, please remember Jurassic Park. Just because we can do it, doesn’t always mean we should.

@torrami

Rules for being a good neighbor:
1. MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS
2. Don’t forget rule number one.

@randypaint

dumbledore: we need u to hand deliver the letter to harry

hagrid: why don’t u just make one magically appear into his hands

dumbledore: do i look like a wizard