@LindseyEllison2

“I make everything sad, but I’ll class your shit up.” – Violins

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@PFTompkins

I have an important question about the movie CATS which will ultimately determine whether or not I see it:

At any point in the film does one of the CATS cats sit in a cardboard box that is a little too small for them

@Reverend_Scott

[dies and goes to hell]

Satan: oh, there seems to have been a big mistake

Me: oh thank god-

Satan: you should be in super hell

Me: oh no

@TweetsByKaylee

batman: who do I see about this ticket?

cop: oh, I wrote it

batman: who tickets the batmobile!?

cop: you were illegally parked

batman: I was fighting crime!

cop: rules are rules

batman: I WAS DOING YOUR JOB!!!!

cop: did you see I wrote “I’m sorry” with a little heart?

@bossy_boots99

I get my eyes from my Dad & the ability to find something wrong with almost anything from my Mom

@brandonleecool

Coca-cola should make a Coca-cola flavored candy cane and call it a Coke Cane.

@Easy_Tiger__

If Kristen Stewart played the daughter in Taken, Liam Neeson would probably just let the bad guys have her.

@TweetPotato314

imagine when the stars that make orion’s belt die and his pants fall down

@AmericanGent69

My 6 year old came into the bathroom while I was using it to tell me she hates it when the dog comes into the bathroom when she’s using it.