@KateWhineHall: I misspelled the word "camouflage" so badly that I made 6 different letter combination changes before autocorrect would even try to help me.
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@TheToddWilliams: EDWARD SNOWDEN: I can help determine the writer of that anonymous op-ed TRUMP: What op-ed? EDWARD SNOWDEN: Not much, what's op with you?
@CorkyKneivel: GUY: Sorry you two broke up. What happened? ME: Well, like most things, it can be traced to the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand...
@GreenishDuck: People with little chains that go from a nose piercing to an earring probably just got sick of losing their ears.
@halvewit: I think my neighbor is very sick. I have now seen him putting no less than six of his arms in his garbage over the past year.