People who criticize the Bible should keep in mind it was My first novel.
I must be getting old…my urine flow sounds like a drippy leak in an old abandoned factory
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HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA VALUE YOUR FRIENDSHIP TOO MUCH TO RUIN IT WITH SEX. SURE, YOU’RE ATTRACTIVE, THEY JUST DON’T SEE YOU IN THAT WAY
Whoever said you can’t hurry love, never had kids knocking on the bedroom door.
*peeing in the urinal at McDonalds*
*turns to the guy peeing in the other urinal*
“So, what did you order?”
Please, you are bringing shame to your ancient weasel ancestors.
My tall sister took the vodka out of the cupboards above the fridge.
I always thought those doors were just there for decoration.
[walks into bookstore]
Me: do you have any books on turtles?
Worker: Hard back?
Me: Yeah, with little heads.
How to make the World Cup more exciting:
Refs are on stilts
The ball screams when kicked
Kissing is legal
1 player gets to use a car
boy they weren’t kidding about cigarettes being addictive; I can’t stop eating these things!!