“Daddy will u tuck me in?:)”
*tucks him in*
“Daddy sing me a song:)”
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES H
I need ten thousand dollars in unmarked avocados.
You Might Also Like
I remember when you had to subscribe to Reader’s Digest to read jokes this bad.
HR: Did you call Brenda fat?
Me: No. I told her that based on her size, she should be more jolly.
Me: Big difference.
911: what is your emergency
ME: there’s a fly in my house
911: hang tight sir we’re sending a swat team now
*BUSTS DOWN DOOR*
*Fires off jokes*
*Kidnappers helpless in laughter*
“..and that’s how your granpappy saved baby Jesus.”
– Me, someday
Husband: *accidentally drops a fancy platter*
Me: *realizes it’s his mom’s platter but acts angry out of principle*
Me: I fear nomadic lifestyles.
Therapist: …I gathered.
I don’t mind your bad kids running around if you don’t mind me tripping them.
NOW HIRING: An employee
JOB REQUIREMENTS: 96 years experience already working at this job you’re applying for
The airline managed to lose the in-laws luggage, but not the in-laws. *sigh*