@outsmartedmommy: I never knew how long it took a human to fall asleep until I had kids. In case you're wondering it's 2 hours, 3 cups of water, & 18 books.
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@NewDadNotes: Yoga Instructor: and finally we move into downward-facing dog. Me: you forgot updog. Yoga Instructor: what’s up- Wife: -NOOOO!
@_ElvishPresley_: CHIEF: say hi to ur new partner ME: new partner? If it's another duck– *goose with a badge waddles in* ME: okay but i'm driving this time
@Jandalize: Sometimes it's hard to nap at work. Like, when the boss is standing beside you or when you don't have a job.