People say “you’ll ruin your appetite” like I have to be hungry to eat.
I noticed you’re eating that bag of popcorn one piece at a time.
So how many people have you murdered?
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You tell me to get off my high horse? Why dont you tell the damn horse to stop getting high all the time.. His drug problem isn’t my problem
men r from mars , women r frm venus , neither are capable of reproducton or space travel so species dies out [RECALIBRATE SIMULATION?] <Y/N>
Jesus, I didn’t mean my cheese wheel when I said you take the wheel.
interviewer: why do you want this job
me: i’ve just always been very passionate about not starving to death
Damn, my printer is needy af. Always asking for more paper or more ink. I give and give and then it tells me it doesn’t think we have a connection.
I told everyone on Facebook what was “on my mind” and now I’m in jail.
If I won the lottery, I wouldn’t go nuts. Probably buy some printer ink, and with what was left over, maybe an avocado.
The year is 2020. Hip hop has fully merged with dubstep, creating the genre of music known as Dubhop. All hope for mankind is lost