@rainerfm: I once watched a mime choke to death on a street corner and everyone applauded. For a couple of reasons.
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@drewtoothpaste: me, 1988: my dad calls everything by the wrong name. why doesn't he know what anything is me: 2018: calling my kid's mindcraft game "computer legos" is way funnier than saying mindcraft and it pisses her off every time
@VodkaThursday: Once Prince dies there will be some freaky shit that comes out like he ate only butterflies or bathed in babies or something. Mark.My.Words.
@Jacob_Swift16: Me: do you want to hear what happened to the last guy who threatened me? Bumper cars operator: i meant your time is up, like for the ride