@aneesa_p
@prufrockluvsong
Remember the good old days when everyone was going to hell in handbaskets instead of in flaming runaway mine carts?
You Might Also Like
@prufrockluvsong
@junejuly12
After spicing things up in the bedroom, don’t rub your eyes for at least 30 minutes.
@mollzbenn
“Follow your dreams!” say the people who won’t pay my rent.
@writerPT
It’s my mom’s personal mission in life to save me 20% on all my purchases by clipping out and giving me every coupon known to mankind.
@Book_Krazy
*opens drawer* huh, I don’t remember this shirt being pink. OMG…did he…did he do laundry? *slowly opens 2nd drawer*
-Law & Order sound
@gabydunn
You: “Nice glasses.”
Me: “Thanks. They’d look better on your nightstand.”
@squirrel74wkgn
[at 25yr class reunion]
Me: You haven’t changed at all!
Her: Hahaha, thanks
Me: *leans in* That wasn’t a compliment, Diane
@jordan_stratton
I’m sorry, sir, but your cholesterol isn’t high enough to buy this Hawaiian shirt.
@ArfMeasures
Me: Sometimes I wonder if people don’t like me
Therapist: That’s where I can help
Me: Great
Therapist: They don’t