I have nothing positive to report.
Except that roadside drug test.
I only wanted one Duran.
You Might Also Like
I CAN’T EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND WHY SOMEBODY WOULD BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CON-oh, never mind, I found it…
My signature move is getting drunk before anyone can ask me to be the designated driver.
If that’s what meditation is doing for you, WOW! Mostly, I just get itchy.
Has anybody seen my keys? theyre awesome.
CNN: The boy who cried Breaking News.
I never understand why do people whisper at funeral’s ? The most important guy at this party is dead he can’t hear you.
My friends make fun of me for having a messy car but yesterday mcdonalds didn’t give Maddie bbq sauce for her nuggets and guess what I had in my back seat??? bbq sauce so I don’t wanna hear it anymore
OMG, you’re huge! There’s no way you’ll fit inside me.
– My clothes.