When my husband asked me do something creative for dinner, I drew a cute picture of a dog on a napkin and put it next to the pizza box.
I overheard 16 tell 12 to come wish me a Happy Mother’s Day. Her response, “I’ve been doing it for 11 years, I think I deserve a break.”
So….guess who has dishes duty today!? And I’m going to use EVERY damn cup, plate and silverware in this house.
You Might Also Like
You cowards just love watching the NFL Draft while you’re all too chickenshit to go off and serve in the football yourselves.
Imagine me in bed.
This leaky roof is gonna cost me a fortune to fix!
It’s been five minutes since Adobe asked me to install an update. I hope they didn’t go out of business or something.
Ugh, I’m starting to regret getting bangs.
“You don’t have bangs.”
Wait, what’s that thing you get when a bat bites you?
I wish I had the confidence to
just randomly sit on people and start bathing myself like my cat does.
iPhone 8 is like your ex coming back after a year saying they changed, you give them another a chance and realize they’re basically the same
Thanks for sending your Blackberry pin to my iPhone.
When did you get electricity in your cave?
me: hurt me
her: only 1% of all ancient literature survived
her: for instance, the gallic sack of rome completely wiped out the true story of the founding of rome, forcing historians to rely on roman propaganda and legends
me: hi, put mom on the phone
son: I can’t
son: she’s too heavy