@shawn_spree: I paid 10.50 for a movie ticket to watch Tom Cruise die continuously for 2 hours. I would have paid a hundred dollars to watch that.
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@julietactually: [taking the witness stand] "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but—" *leaning into the mic* I choose dare
@pleatedjeans: [school teacher job interview] Can I ask you some questions? I don't know CAN you? haha impressive [stands] welcome aboard!
@Tmoney68: At some point, a guy looked at an onion that was clearly purple & called it red. AND WE'RE JUST SITTING HERE LETTING IT HAPPEN.