I peel my underwear off as you watch me & then hand it to you,
You know what’s coming next..
It’s your turn to do the laundry
You Might Also Like
It’s fun to chant “Bloody Mary” three times into your car’s side mirror while driving at night and watch her jog to keep up
If Bugs Bunny was as sarcastic in real life as he was in the cartoons I’d be like, “HOLY SHIT A TALKING RABBIT!”
You read for a part, you feel good about it, you feel confident, then they cast Ben Affleck.
Does anyone know how to get red wine out of a white cat, and don’t say tears, because I already tried that.
*gets in huge line at the donut shop*
*causally hums the Jaws theme until people get out of my way*
She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.
Every time my daughter drinks juice she says “cheers” so…. no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.
If you find a fry on the floor and you don’t share it with me, we can’t be friends. Don’t touch me. Monster.