WIFE: You promised you’d take the dog out.
ME: Okay, fine.
DOG: This is a really nice place.
ME: *looking up from menu* What are you gonna have?
I played monopoly with 10 and I told him he wasted all his money on 3 properties for hotels no one would probably land on.
Then I landed on it and he bankrupted me. Too bad he’s gotta sleep outside tonight.
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